I'm Annoyed and Still Bald

Cancer Update (Week of 12/2)

We need to take away every doctor’s medical license, effective immediately, until we figure out what’s going on. I was unfortunately right about my secondary oncologist appointment this week; I just hadn’t seen him enough for him to disappoint me yet. Thankfully, he won’t be getting the chance again, because Wednesday was the last time I’ll be seeing him.

Long story short, it was clear to me that he was in a rush to leave. Mind you, this doctor is only in the office one day a week, but it’s clear he’d love to be there zero days instead. This started 30 minutes before the appointment began, when the office called me asking if I wanted to cancel the appointment. I was over halfway to the office at that point. Beyond this, his behavior was dismissive and made it seem like I was wasting his time with my questions. He refused to answer most of them, saying “this is something you should ask your primary oncologist”. I’m not sure if doctors have some sort of ethical code that prevents them from sharing multiple patients, but if that was the case and you know you’re not my primary, why even accept the appointment? And is it really so unheard of to try and get a second opinion? When he wasn’t telling me to go somewhere else, he was contradicting himself. My issues were both “not anything that has to do with treatment” and “not bad enough to stop the treatment”. Some were even “the first time anyone has ever complained about that”. If you don’t know the answer, just say that! The fact of the matter is I’m living uncomfortably day to day, and I’m going to the doctor to try and figure out why that is. So why make it seem like I’m an idiot for asking these questions, even if it might have nothing to do with my treatment? If something serious was wrong and I never brought it up, they would ask why I never brought it to their attention, so why act like my questions are a waste of time? Maybe I’m projecting or maybe I’m becoming too sensitive, but sometimes it feels like wanting a kind and thorough doctor is the biggest ask in the world.

My five month nightmare through the American healthcare and insurance system seems particularly topical lately. If I ever crash out and they use Ma’s Basement as evidence… mind your business! Not that I’m on the same level of radicalization as my Italian twin Luigi Mangione, but I can’t say I don’t see where he’s coming from. I got an email from University of Michigan after my appointment, asking me to fill out a survey about my recent experience. I found this restaurant review on Twitter the other day, which is a good summary of what I wrote in my survey:

On a positive note, this has made me very thankful that I have a lot of smart and kind friends that are currently in the medical field or are working to become doctors. I can’t wait for them to replace the current batch, who all seem to be old and defective. This experience has also taught me that nurses are the unsung heroes of the medical profession. Every time I’ve had an issue and brought it up to a chemo nurse, they give me the most helpful advice. Nurses have knowledge and experience AND the people skills that doctors lack. Stop what you’re doing and treat a nurse or medical student today!

I have chemo #5 this week. I am really really really not excited, but after this I only have one more and then I’m done. Just a month or so of misery and then I’m free! So close I can taste it. Plus, I have Christmas, Hanukkah, my birthday, and New Year’s all in the last few days of this cycle when I should be feeling better. At least if I’m getting cursed with this disease, I get to celebrate the holidays in a somewhat healthy condition, as a treat.

Hope everyone has a nice week :)

Feel good song of the week: